


To Whom it May Concern

by Violutz



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, Anxiety, Awkward Flirting, Bad Decisions, Birthday, Crushes, Declarations Of Love, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Drinking, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Meetings, First Time, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Heartache, Kinks, Loneliness, Long-Haired Victor Nikiforov, Loss of Virginity, Love, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Masturbation, Multiple Orgasms, Mutual Attraction, Mutual Pining, Regret, Rejection, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, Teaching, Teasing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, True Love, Victor is a street musician, Victor is a waiter, Yuuri skates in his freetime, like really well, victor can sing, victor plays guitar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-09 10:26:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13479564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violutz/pseuds/Violutz
Summary: This love everyone sings about, could it possibly be real? Or was it all a facade masking away the foul truth?At twenty-four, Yuuri was starting to fear the worst.  At twenty-four, Yuuri was still alone- Or so he thought.Was it all just his imagination, or was Yuuri truly one of the lucky ones to be blessed with a soulmate?-An AU where neither Yuuri or Victor are professional figure skaters. Yuuri works full time at his parents onsen and Victor is a waiter at a local bar who tries to earn some extra cash by being a street musician.-This story is based on the song To Whom it May Concern by The Civil Wars. (who would've guessed, right?)-Yes! Yet another one hopping on the soulmate fanfiction train! I'm just so weak for it and it makes me swoon like a lovestruck fool. So why not create my own mush of sugary fluffness and awkwardly written smut? I truly hope you'll enjoy reading my story as much as I enjoy writing it!





	1. Lost Stars

Yuuri felt lonely that day, more than any day before. Consumed in nothing but darkness he stared blankly ahead at his ceiling, his mind restless like an unforgiving storm, disheartening thoughts whirling through his brain so fast and so loud that he couldn’t hear a single one, and yet all of them at once. 

Out of all days, this should be the one where he shouldn’t feel lonely at all, or at least a little less lonely. And he didn’t, for as long as the party lasted. But Yuuri was sure it was merely because the whole get-together was a distraction from how he truly felt. As soon as they left, the loneliness returned. The smiling faces from his loved ones were replaced by his small, dark bedroom.

Twenty-four was as dull and depressing as twenty-three, he learned soon. 

With a long exaggerated sigh he closed his eyes in desperate attempt to ease his thoughts, but to no avail. He should have known. He was no stranger to moments like this.

His bed sheets were cold from the bleak weather powdering Hasetsu in a frigid, glistering blanket. The moon was the only source of light that crept though his curtains, catching his attention. He got up on his knees and opened the curtains slowly, looking out over his small hometown, up to the sky where his eyes met the one thing that gave him a small spark of hope. Some sort of reassurance that he wasn’t alone. And that whoever he was destined to be with was possibly staring at the exact same thing as him... Wherever they were. 

Of course Yuuri wasn’t really alone. He knew that. He was constantly surrounded by his family, the customers of their onsen, his friend Phichit who stopped by every now and again. And yet it couldn’t fill the empty hole in his heart, couldn’t obliterate the incompleteness that constantly haunted him like a demon breathing down his neck. 

Lonely nights like this were a painful reminder just how miserable he was, and he had no idea how to stop it.

His vision blurred, but he did nothing to stop the tears that were inevitably going to spill down.

He cried silently, his eyes never averting from the moon. 

It was then that he felt a chill down his spine, his pale complexion covered in goosebumps as he heard an unfamiliar voice echoing in the back of his mind.

“Why are you so far from me?’’ this voice, smooth like silk sang softly. He’s never heard a voice like that before, and yet it felt like he did. All the distress, the loneliness, anything negative he was feeling before seemed to wash away at the mere sound of whoever it was that sang to him. 

But this was just his mind playing tricks on him, Yuuri convinced himself. It wasn’t the first time certain thoughts randomly appeared without really knowing how they got there at all. But nevertheless, he didn’t mind this deception.

Yuuri closed his eyes and wiped them dry with the back of his hand to clear his vision before he looked back up. “I don’t know...“ he whispered into the night sky, his fingers running through his black locks that have gotten a little too long for his liking. 

“In my arms is where you ought to be...’’

This definitely felt different from anything that ever wandered through his head. Most things just depressed him, stressed him out. But this thought, this voice he so faintly heard... It made him feel something he never felt before. It was so foreign, so nice, and yet so heartbreaking. 

Yuuri waited, hoping to hear it again. To let his brain fool him once more. But it was quiet. The voice didn’t return, and the loneliness came back, weighing him down. Fresh new tears spilled over his flushed cheeks as he finally decided to close his eyes. He crawled back under the sheets and clasped the fabric tightly between his fingers as he allowed the gaping emptiness inside to swallow him whole. He trembled softly, wishing that his sleep would soon sweep him away from the insufferable reality.

And right before it did, against his expectations... he heard that gentle voice one last time.

“Dear, whoever you might be... I'm still waiting patiently.’’  
~


	2. Out like a light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a week past Yuuri's birthday, and Phichits visit takes a painful turn.  
> Strange and unexplainable things seem to happen more often now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's violence and a anxiety attack mentioned in this chapter, just a head's up!  
> Poor Yuuri, and poor... hmm poor who? :)
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy! <3

Yuuri thought about that voice, ever since that night. He never forgot what it sounded like, how it made him feel. And on occasions he could’ve sworn he heard him sing again, but it was so faint, so distant that he couldn't be too sure. He could have fooled himself like he presumed in the first place. But he’d like to think that he didn’t, more often than not. That sweet melody that was unforgettable was now added to Yuuri’s short list of things that gave him hope. For perhaps it was his soulmate finally trying to reach out. 

Of course this was silly to think, Yuuri convinced himself. Soulmates were very rare and to think that someone like him could ever be struck by luck like that was just laughable, right? 

Yuuri huffed out a small laugh as he aimlessly shoveled the snow around, so lost in his thoughts, he wasn’t really focusing on what he was doing.

“Something funny?” Mari asked, bringing him back to reality as he gasped in surprise. Of course the only person in the family skeptical of soulmates would catch him daydreaming now. So he decided to lie.

“It’s nothing, just some funny looking guy passing by. Probably drunk,’’ he mumbled as he got back to the snow, avoiding his sisters gaze.

“Hmm, I bet. You’ve been shoving this mess around for quite some time now, brother. Are you sure nothing is up?” She tilted her face to the side, lighting the cigarette that rested on her lips.

“Yup, pretty sure...” Yuuri blushed as he looked at the mess he slowly started to create. He tightened his grip on the shovel and quickly cleared the path to the onsens entry. 

Deep down Yuuri knew it was pretty useless to lie to his sister. She could always see through all the bullshit, especially his. Call it a talent of hers. 

To his relief she decided to drop it as she finished her cigarette in silence, enjoying the break she was granted. 

He and Mari weren’t necessarily close. Probably as close as most average siblings would be. But they’ve always been on good terms. The typical bickering between brother and sister happened very rarely, most likely given by the fact that the both of them were relatively calm and patient people. 

Yuuri was grateful for that. He shot her a lopsided smile as he emerged back inside to escape the biting cold and placed the shovel back next to the coat rack, hanging his own back up after dusting off the snow. Yuuri’s fingers were aching and colored a deep crimson.

Despite having his birthday in such a cold month, he really preferred the summer time where being outside was actually relaxing instead of chilling and painful. He softly blew on his cupped hands to warm them up when a familiar voice echoed behind him.

“Yuuri!”

Yuuri turned around with curious eyes and met with the others, glistering with joy. 

“Hey! Shouldn’t you be in class? It’s 11 am,” Yuuri wondered as he accepted Phichit’s cold embrace, petting him gently on the back before retreating.

“Normally, yeah. But I only had one class today and the professor called in sick, so here I am!” Phichit smiled as he widened his arms dramatically. Yuuri couldn’t possibly live without his best friends enthusiasm and positive mindset. He was wonderful company and an amazing distraction for Yuuri when he needed to be. He was forever grateful.

Yuuri chuckled.

“So, I’m assuming you have something in mind to do here?”

Phichit smiled brightly and nodded. “You wanna come to the grocery store and grab some snacks and sodas? I was thinking of having a game day, for old times sake,” Phichit proposed, his eyes staring hopefully back at him.

“Hmm, I think I should lay off the snacks for some time. But I’m up for a game day. It’s been a while. Let me just ask if my parents will let me off,” Yuuri said, and turned around once his friend nodded in agreement. 

Yuuri’s mother, Hiroko hummed gently as she prepared some vegetables for lunch, moving around in the kitchen like it was second nature to her.

“Mom?” Yuuri asked softly, careful not to startle his mother.

“Yuuri! Is everything okay?” she asked as she wiped her hands dry, her expression as concerned as it always has been whenever she looked at him. 

It stung to know how worried she was about him. She was dealing with enough stress running the onsen with Yuuri’s father. How she handled Yuuri’s daily episodes of anxiety and depression too was beyond him. 

The guilt hurt him to no end, and as a result he just locked himself away in his room most of the time, in hopes no one would have to worry just how badly he felt. It was no ones fault but his own, after all...

“Everything is okay, mom. Phichit is here, he was wondering if we could spend the day together. Would that be alright? I’ve finished all my chores,” he asked, and to his relief his mothers frown was quickly replaced with a gentle smile.

“Of course! I don’t expect many customers today anyway. Lunch will be ready in half an hour, if you two want to join.”

“Thank you,” Yuuri smiled and nodded before he retreated back to his friend who was holding his jacket with a grin on his face.

“How did you even know she was going to say yes?” Yuuri frowned, taking his jacket from Phichit and putting it on.

“Your mother is a literal angel, of course she’d say yes,” Phichit giggled and stepped outside, holding the door open for Yuuri.

“Let’s go!”  
...............................................................................................

It was late when it happened. The sun had gone down hours ago, and the only light source in his room was coming from his TV screen that displayed his game when Yuuri suddenly held onto his cheek as he groaned with pain. What the hell just happened?! He balled himself up on his bed as his breath breathing quickened and his anxiety peaked. This felt awful! Not only did his cheek hurt like mad, he felt in danger. He started breaking out in sweat despite it being rather cold in his room. He looked up at his friend whose eyes were shot open wide.

“Yuuri? Oh my god, what’s wrong?!” Phichit yelled in shock and reached out to collect his best friend into his arms, resting Yuuris head on his shoulder as he slowly rubbed his back to calm him down. Phichit had witnessed a few of Yuuri’s panic attacks before, but it was nothing like what was happening now. Yuuri was obviously in pain, physical pain. What did he miss?

“My cheek... It feels like I got punched. How?” he whimpered weakly as his free hand clutched onto Phichit’s shirt, trying to bear the stinging pain that was heating up his cheek. Yuuri has fallen before, bumped into things pretty roughly but he never hurt himself as much as he did now. However he did it. Was this normal? This wasn’t normal, right?

“Let me see,” Phichit said as he placed his hand over Yuuris and carefully removed it from his cheek. Yuuri pushed himself off of him a bit and turned his head for Phichit to see if there was anything at all.

“I don’t see anything. It’s not red, not discolored. Does this hurt?” He pressed his fingertips gently against his cheek, only for Yuuri to hiss between his teeth. It definitely still hurt. What was this pain?

“Okay, alright. Let me get you something to cool it, okay?”

Yuuri nodded slowly and leaned back against the headboard of his bed, his fingertips grazing over the aching warmth again as he waited for Phichit to return.

He was so confused, how did pain so intense just randomly strike him like that? He had no explanation, at all. And from the look in his friends eyes, he seemed very clueless as well. 

He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, trying to calm down from the blow he just received. But from what?

 

~  
_“You see what fucking happens when somebody eyes my woman like that?” This man must have been at least two meters tall, towering over the other with an intense stare. One wrong move and he was sure to get absolutely demolished. He looked dangerous, and he reeked of alcohol. This was bad. Really bad._

_The flickering lamppost shining down on them gave this messy situation an eerie feeling. He saw no escape. Three men were behind him giving him a cold stare and the woman of which he was accused to stare at. She looked down as she nervously rubbed her arm, clearly uncomfortable. Who wouldn’t be in a situation like this? How did he even get into this? Eyeing his woman... what was he talking about?_

_The mans face ran red with anger as he shoved him, daring him to fight back._

_God, his face hurt. This man was strong._

_“Did you lose your tongue? Huh?!” Another shove._

_“Look, I have no idea what you’re talking about! Honestly.” he blurted out as he held his hands up in surrender. He just wanted to go home and forget all about this._

_He should’ve just kept his mouth shut. The man balled his fist and blew it against his stomach, making him crouch down to the ground as he screamed out._  
~  


“Yuuri!”

Yuuri opened his eyes and heaved as he clutched his stomach. _What?! What was that? Was it a nightmare?_

Tears of confusion and pain streamed down his face as he laid down and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Make it stop!” he begged as he felt his heart beating against his chest. This was a nightmare, it must have been.

Within seconds he was held against Phichit’s chest again, one hand in his hair and the other comfortingly stroking his back.

“I got you an ice pack, let me just...” he whispered as he gently pressed it against Yuuri’s cheek. It felt refreshing, but he couldn’t say the same for the pain on his stomach. He felt beaten up, humiliated, and tired. So tired.

“What’s happening to me?” he asked. With every intake of breath he felt the invisible noose around his neck grow tighter, his friend more distant.

He could hear Phichit’s voice in the background, but couldn’t comprehend a single word besides his own name that he repeated over and over again. Each time it sounded a little further away. 

His vision blurred until he was consumed in nothing but darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More angst, but things will turn better in the next chapter! No worries! :) I hope you enjoyed <3


	3. Can you hear me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor feels disconnected from his other half while Yuuri is struggling to take action. Luckily he has his best friend by his side to support him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me a little longer to update. I wrote this chapter twice before I was finally satisfied, but here we are! I hope you enjoy <3

Did it matter in the end? Victor would come home to his quiet and cramped apartment with a hand full of coins that could hopefully get him the fancier kind of coffee he preferred. But it didn’t grand him a bigger house, embellished furniture or a lover by his side. 

Every single day he would come home to this mess, his old guitar strapped on his back and no one to welcome him back but his dog, bouncing against his sore legs.

A couple of days ago however he ended up with more than just some strangers change; a discolored face and a sore lower abdomen. It was the first time Victor got engaged into a fight, or rather had himself beaten up like a helpless loser. He had no memory of staring some random lady down, but he could definitely still feel the aftermath. Nothing felt broken but he would sport these bruises for quite some time, of that he had no doubt. His cheek still felt hot from the relentless punch.

But all of that was nothing compared to how he felt since that day. How disconnected he felt from that beautiful stranger in his mind.

He hasn’t heard his voice since that day. He hasn’t seen flashes of his life, those beautiful deep alluring eyes so captivating, flecks of gold dancing within the deep swirls of cocoa whenever he looked in the mirror. 

There was nothing but Victors own burdens and doubts.

Now more than ever in his dead silent apartment, he felt so lonely. He needed him.

Never mind that all he saw from him were all sorrowful moments, moments of fear and absolute panic. Was it heartbreaking to hear him cry? See him all alone? Absolutely. But it encouraged Victor to strive forward so that maybe, just maybe, he’d find his way out of this hellhole he calls home and to his soulmate that so desperately needed him. 

And he needed him... so badly.

But he probably didn’t even know who Victor was. He has blocked him for as long as he could remember. Victor had no idea how he felt, he never responded when he tried to reach out to him, which he tried so many times, he had lost count. 

Until last week, when he finally heard his soothing voice talking back to him. Was it because he sang to him? Was he finally opening up?

Victor didn't know. Along with his bruises came the blankness. He didn’t hear or see anything from him anymore. Was he gone? Was his soulmate... No. That couldn’t be it.

He must have messed up really bad when he got beaten up. He could feel the pain and fear from his other half, making every blow he received so much worse. He felt it too...

Oh god, how did he do that? Why? Will he ever come back?

....................................................................................................................................

Everything had gone by so fast that Yuuri couldn’t process even half the things that he was told. Apparently he woke up fairly soon after he lost consciousness- his mothers eyes being the first things he saw when he opened his eyes. The first thing he heard was the worried tone in her voice as she asked how he was feeling. 

How was he feeling? Yuuri didn’t know how to describe it. He’s never felt this way before, and the fact that he was too distracted by the throbbing headache that was worsening every waking second didn’t help much either.

“So confused,” he had answered.

The conversation that followed between her and Phichit was merely a background noise as he tried to comprehend everything that had happened within the span of what seemed to be only fifteen minutes. For a moment, Yuuri was nothing but dumbstruck. 

His mother had asked him if he could remember what happened, to which Yuuri hardly even knew how to reply. He remembered the punch-like soreness on his cheek, the horrifying nightmare which left him screaming in pain as he saw a tall and aggressive foreigner screaming at him in a language that was beyond his understanding until the moment he replied, somehow in the same tongue. He felt his fist blowing straight into his lower abdomen and could faintly remember hitting the ground before he was met with Phichit who repeatedly called his name. Everything else was a complete blur.

He expected a lot from his mother after he told her all that. Perhaps this was some part of his anxiety he didn’t know about, or maybe he was sick. 

The smile on her face was one of the things he did not expect, but what came out of her mouth afterwards was something that left him in utter disbelief and shock for days after. Everything else that had happened that night was wiped from his memory, dropped into a void for there was only one word that completely occupied his mind.

Soulmate.

Yuuri had a soulmate. After years of loneliness and despair, as his hopes slowly slipped away this was the absolute last thing he thought would ever happen to him- Yuuri was one of the very few people on this earth that was blessed with another half.

And he was terrified. 

All he could remember from this person was that one night when he heard him sing, and the other, much more painful night of which he wasn’t sure he wanted to remember or forget. He wanted talk to him, get to know his soulmate. But much to Yuuri’s frustration he had no idea how to do so, and was honestly very scared to try. What would happen if he succeeded? What should he say? What was his soulmate gonna say? 

The fact that they were meant to be put far more pressure on Yuuri than he could handle, which lead to days of pondering and overthinking. What should he do? Starting with a simple introduction would probably be the best option, but finding the courage to actually try took him longer than he liked to admit.

Luckily he had Phichit who stopped by every day since that night to support him and give him advice with the best of his abilities. Of course he couldn’t expect of him to have answers for every question he had, but for him to try and spend hours on the internet researching as much as he could was far more help than Yuuri could possibly ask for. And for that he was forever grateful.

It was five days later when Phichit had finally convinced him to try and talk to his soulmate. His treat to a free latte at the local coffee shop had Yuuri finally agreeing, though he was still as frightened as the first day he learned about his soulmate’s existence. 

“I get that you’re scared. Honestly, I would be too. But I promise it will all be worth it,” Phichit said as he took Yuuri’s hand in his own, squeezing it gently as he threw him a comforting smile.

Yuuri nodded and took a deep breath before drinking the last bit of his latte that had turned a little cold after their long conversation. Once it was empty he stared down at his trembling hands as he tried his best to collect all the courage he had to stand up, get home and do exactly as he had promised. 

Talk to him. Let him know that he was there.

“Dont worry too much. It’s going to be okay.”

Yuuri smiled nervously in response. He wanted to believe that, trusted his friend blindly that he would think so, but his own fear held the upper hand as it filled his minds with all the worst case scenarios that could happen. But despite all that, he knew that Phichit was right. He had to do this. This person was his soulmate for a reason and Yuuri was determined to find out exactly what that reason was. 

……………………………………………………………….

His walk home was rather pleasant and exactly what he had needed before he would talk to his soulmate. Or at least he would attempt to. The cold wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been for the last couple of days, and most of the snow had melted away. The cool november breeze caressing Yuuri’s skin and the cries of the black-tailed gulls echoing near Hasetsu’s beach eased his mind as Yu-topia slowly came to his view. 

He had parted ways with Phichit after thanking him for his support, and promised to call him should something happen. Now he was alone with only one thing to do, one thing on his mind.

Yuuri found himself in his room much quicker than he had realised. He sat on his bed with his hands rested in his lap, his forehead damp with cold sweat as he prepared himself. Should he show himself in the mirror, the way his soulmate showed him what he saw that gruesome night? Maybe not. He should probably just start with simply saying his name. 

_Right._

Yuuri’s breath hitched as he tried his best to relax. The last thing he wanted to do was scare his soulmate away with something stupid he could say in a moment of anxiety.

_‘Don’t worry too much. It’s going to be okay.’_

Yuuri prayed Phichit was right. He took one last deep breath, clutched his hands into fists… and finally spoke.

“So, hi I guess. I uhm… I’m Yuuri. Hi… God, this is stupid,’’ 

_Did he hear that?_ He had no idea how this worked. Did he have to do something special in order to reach him? Yuuri saw no better option than to just keep talking. _Just keep talking._

“I… I don’t know if you can hear me, but… Here I am. I’m sorry for all the years of neglection. I had no idea that you were, you know… real,’’ Yuuri mumbled softly as he clenched his hands tightly, until his nails dug into the palm of his hand. 

At any moment now, he could hear that angelic voice again. There was no going back now. One word from him would turn Yuuri’s life completely upside down, of that he was sure. No longer he would be alone, the one thing he feared the most. Everything would be alright. It had to, they were meant to be. Or so he was told.

Yuuri waited, squeezing his eyes shut as he braced himself.

It was quiet in his head. Yuuri sighed. _Keep trying._

“But… now I know. And… could you maybe let me know- Can you hear me? Or am I just making a complete fool of myself right now?”

_‘Yes!’_ Yuuri thought as he averted his eyes to his hands that were still balled into trembling fists. His knuckles paled as he waited for an answer.

Nothing.

Slowly but surely Yuuri started to lose hope, the silence was so deafening and painful it brought tears to his eyes. What if his mother was wrong? What if everyone was wrong? Did he fool himself to believe some kind of fairytale, or was he just not meant to have a soulmate? 

_‘Figures’_ Yuuri thought as he bit down on his upper lip subconsciously until a metallic taste filled his mouth. 

He was probably right all along. He was meant to be alone, only now the universe played a nasty game to prove it to him.

Tears flowed down his flushed cheek while he tried his best to hold back a sob. Yuuri didn’t want to cry. Didn’t want to just give up after only one try. Despite all odds being against him he wanted to stay strong and keep believing that there really was someone out there, waiting for him.

But it was hard. He sat there, all alone in his bedroom, with no one but his own sorrows engulfing him whole. Still desperately waiting for that stranger he was destined to be with.

_“I can hear you...”_

_‘Oh my god… There you are.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last! Victor heard him talk to him for the first time <3 This calls for quite some catching-up to do <3 I hope you enjoyed! <3


End file.
